Anxiety Isn't Some Nasty Secret To Be Ashamed Of!

I must admit that I never felt this nervous about writing a blog post before. I have been thinking and rethinking whether I should even write this or not, let alone publish it for the world to see. But I do believe that anxiety and other mental illnesses should be discussed openly, and not kept inside like some sort of nasty secret. We shouldn't feel embarrassed that we suffer from some sort of a mental illness, should we? I never hear people being ashamed of having a flu or a virus infection. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of when having a mental illness. I personally am slowly getting to the point where I can openly talk about it with people I know, not just my closest friend. And today I did decide to write this down and publish it. I'm done with keeping my anxiety a secret, and feeling ashamed of it. 

If nothing else, we should all feel proud that we still manage to have relatively normal lives. We manage to get ourselves to work, on public transport, grocery shopping in overly crowded stores, to universities and high schools. We deserve a medal, not a sense of shame. I say these things because until recently I felt embarrassed of it, I felt like it was just something inside my head, that it was not a serious illness and that I was just being utterly silly for no apparent reason. Well, as you may know, that's not the case. It's not easy to wish away anxiety (or any other mental illness) because if it were, no one would be suffering from it. Instead we have to wish ourselves out of bed, out into the world, to places where we might not feel comfortable, and be surrounded with people that make us anxious. It's not as easy as it may sound to someone without social anxiety, hell, sometimes it even sounds simple to me, yet the truth of the matter is that when it comes down to it, it's never simple. 

I have been seeing my psychiatrist for about two years now. And surprisingly enough the first time I saw her it wasn't about my anxiety issues, it was actually due to my lack of temper in some occasions. I was having a rather difficult relationship with my mother at the time, and she insisted I saw a professional about it. Thank god she did. Not only did it help with my temper, it also helped with getting me diagnosed with social anxiety. If I never saw the psychiatrist, I might have never really known for sure what it was. And knowing what it was that I was dealing with, helped me with dealing with it. First step of dealing with anything is to first figure out what it is you're dealing with. From that point onward it was a bit easier, not easy but definitely easier. 

Even to this day I still get very anxious when faced with certain situations, for example, it takes me about 15 minutes of preparations and convincing myself to even make a phone call to someone I'm not incredibly comfortable with. A silly phone call! But never the less, that phone call sometimes has to be made, and I will just briefly discuss the things that I found help me when dealing with situations that cause me anxiety. 

REMEMBER TO BREATHE. I know you know how to breathe, but when dealing with an anxious situation, when you might even start to feel a panic attack, it's crucial that you remind yourself to breathe properly. And we're talking slowly inhaling and exhaling, taking your time with the breathing and focusing on it, instead of just doing it by instinct. Count to ten, hell if it doesn't work, then count to a hundred, all the way until you feel at least a bit more at ease. When you feel like your breathing has stabilised, you are probably feeling a bit better already. 

IF POSSIBLE REMOVE YOURSELF FROM SAID ANXIOUS SITUATION. Of course that's not always an option, but if it is, then by all means get away from there as soon as possible. For example, I tend to do my grocery shopping very quickly, I usually have in mind the things that I need, I get them and then I'm out of there as soon as I can. But sometimes, and this refers to shopping for clothes which I enjoy, I would remain in that anxious situation. Although I usually tend to still be a lot quicker than when I'm in a company of people that make me feel more comfortable. But if you can, remove yourself from that situation, or even from some people that might make you feel very anxious. Just get away. 

TRY AND IMAGINE A HAPPY PLACE. This was something that my psychiatrist told me. She said that when I'm feeling like a panic attack is approaching, or just feeling very anxious, that it helps if you imagine yourself in a place that makes you happy. For instance, for me that's Brick Lane on a Sunday. Which is weird since it's usually very crowded there on a Sunday but somehow I felt comfortable and happy there. Weird but it helps me. So try and imagine a place that makes YOU happy, anything applies as the only limit here is your imagination. Go wild, go and be happy and wish that anxiousness away. 

CALL A FRIEND. I tend to not do this frequently enough because well, truth be told, I prefer to deal with it on my own. But sometimes, when it's getting really bad and I know that none of the methods above will help, I will call a friend, someone that I trust and I know will be there for me. Sometimes just a talk with someone that you trust and love can make a world of a difference. And not just a friend, maybe your boyfriend or girlfriend, or your parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters. Whoever you trust and are one hundred percent comfortable around. It will get you distracted and hopefully make you feel better. 

LISTEN TO MUSIC AND DISTRACT YOURSELF. This last tip is something that my friend told me, and it's what she usually does in anxious situations. It doesn't matter what the distraction is, from music to crosswords puzzles and reading books. Crossword puzzles and music are especially good if you're on public transport and can actually read a book or solve a puzzle, as we know that if you're getting your groceries you can't exactly start reading a book along the way. But anything that could keep your mind distracted from feeling anxious will do the trick. 

You know what, I had nothing to be nervous about. It felt good to write this down, and hopefully you guys will enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Okay, maybe enjoy isn't the right word but it felt good. It feels good to just get it out of my system, and if it perhaps helps someone along the way, then even better. To end this I would just like to say that if you ever feel the need to talk to someone, you can chat me up on any of my social media linked in the header, or just shoot me an e-mail and we can talk. I know how important talking about it is, and sometimes it's just easier to talk to someone you don't know that well. 

Remember that you are stronger than your mental illness and you're not defined by it. Go and do your thing, no matter how hard it may seem — you can do it!